Centauri's Thoughts

*sigh* the New Year always seems to feel the same these days. A reflection of things not completed or even started yet. The almost dread that some things will never change.
I know its a psychological thing, and a way for me to postmark the years gone by, but the nagging feeling is there every year, that feeling of frustration. Maybe its that feeling which motivates us to change things, so that this year does not end up like the last.

Indeed, my life isnt exactly sitting still. Beginning of Last year, I was still saving for a car, and was single, although my Wife was living here (before we married).

Year before that I had just got life settled after a rough relationship. In fact..
those same feelings I have right now are what prompted that change. That desire to see life in the best light possible.

The year before that, I was still in California, looking to REALLY change everything.. by my move to the East Coast and away from the West.

The Year before that I had just gotten back from Pakistan, and was evaluating Life situations.

The Year before that, I was cleaning my life up after a total loss of everything.. and was just starting to get it back together.

The year before that, I was on a peak, before it all fell apart, and I thought I was doing quite well. Good Job, Good Money, Nice Toys, do what I wanted when I wanted. Maybe I got complacent, so Life threw me a curve to see how strong I was. Maybe its Natures way of thumbing its nose at me, or to prick my pride, and bring me back down to earth.

At least, this reflection process allows me to be objective and evaluate life.. and not go too far without asking "why".

I want to go to space sooo bad.. to live there.. to be a part of it all.. I always have.. so I accumulate all the skills, and hope I can make the contacts needed to use them.

It doesn't help that birthday is mid January, and as I get older, this adds to the reflection time.

*sigh*